Procrastination

I am writing this post mainly because I'm putting off homework, but also because I felt like it would be a nice night to write and clear the cobwebs out of my brain.

I realized (I'm doing this "realization" thing quite often this week) that I really like to think about something before I say it. Writing, however, is a different story. Let me give you an example.
We had a simple task in speech class: tell a story about a personal example of miscommunication. Yeah, I knew it was easy, but I kept drawing blanks because I was over-analyzing. "I could tell this story, but..." or "Perhaps this wasn't miscommunication as much as it was..." etc., etc. until eventually I nearly drove myself mad and said whatever came to mind at the very last minute. I'm fairly sure this happens daily for me. Honestly, even when someone says "Hello, how are you", I say "Good, how are you?" but I'm thinking "Well, I'm not really good (well), but this is what most people say" and "How am I today? I have no idea, really. A little tired, ticked off at my teacher, happy because I can crunch leaves, thinking about the past (what do I even feel about that?), slightly worried about this or that" ... and the thoughts go on. I don't necessarily think this is a bad trait to have, but when I'm put on the spot I freeze.
Anywho, this interesting phenomenon makes me a slightly reckless writer. I can sit down and write and write and write and not care what I'm writing or why I'm writing. I just like to write :) Ironically, most of my deep thoughts come to me when I'm writing, not when I'm vocal. Weird.

Speaking of deep thoughts. This blows my mind. I was looking back at some old pictures and happened upon a sympathy card from Hurst freshman year. When I looked at the handwriting, I thought that it seemed a bit too familiar. I realized, with a bit of a start, that my current handwriting is very, very similar to his. When I say similar, I mean that my handwriting could perhaps be mistaken for his. Yet another ridiculous aspect of myself to add to the rather large pile of Hurst influence. I may forever be looking at my life critically, wondering what part of me Hurst hasn't affected. Last night I was talking about freshman year with a friend and realized that telling people about that time is embarrassing to me and tends to create notions that I don't want to create. So I lie. Nothing huge or scandalous, but I do lie. What can you do?

Admiration. Contemplation. Procrastination.
All right. Homework calls :)