Prolonged Sunlight (for a future love)

A midafternoon sun blazes above me, spotlighting specks spiraling in slow motion. For a moment the particles combine to create a blanket of dust, not unlike that which covers my despondent desk when I’m in a socially impassioned mood (which is admittedly more often than I would like). I think that, if I could, I would myself materialize into a million specks of dust just so that I can drift into shadow when I want and become infinitesimal. Selfish, right? Maybe. If you sifted through the list of contacts in my phone at this very moment, you’d find sixty-five numbers. More specifically, you’d find nineteen numbers with whom I have broken ties in the name of “emotional freedom”. You may think nineteen is a high count of poor fools who tried to woo me into submission, but you’d be surprised. Like the specks of dust lazily drifting through steaks of sunlight, my love could be infinite. It could grow with time and still exist in the shadows and become a fundamental part of me. I see myself growing close to you and doing horribly cheesy couple things that I would appreciate as long as I could see you smile (equally cheesy statement). But that is the future. In truth, you make me want to be selflessly tethered to your heart. I want you to hold me like a kite, with ribbons wound around your insides tugging us toward the sky. I don’t want to slip into shadows anymore, materializing like dust.